My trip home was everything I needed. It was so nice to be home to visit but it was so much nicer to get back to Texas. I miss home, and all the people that are there, but I don't want to be back for more than a week or two at a time. I thought that I was going to see Thom while I was home, but I didn't. And I am alright with that. It would have been nice to see him, but things happened the way that they did and I spent most of my time with my family and I couldn't be happier. Things with the other guy, well, they are non existant. He turned out to be a HUGE dick. Like the things that he did to me take the title douchebag to a whole new level. I haven't talked to him at all and I don't plan on talking to him. My life is better without that sort of asshole in it. Things with Dave. Well, they depend on the day. As they have for the LONGEST time. We got into a HUGE fight a couple of Sundays ago. They are rocky, but working for the time being. I love him but I don't know if I am in love with him anymore. And that is the worst position to be in. My dad said that he will take over my lease if I get Dave out, but how do you tell the person that you have been with for over 2 years that you don't love him anymore. That classic line "it's not you is me" fits PERFECT, but, it's such a low way out. But is it really a low way out when it's really how you feel?

I GET TO GO HOME!!!!!!

WORDS CAN NOT EXPRESS HOW EXCITED I AM TO FINALLY BE GOING HOME FOR A VISIT!!!!!!!!!!! My mom was wanting to come down here but she doesn't like Dave and she said that she would only come down if he was out of our apartment....well I can't get that done in the time frame that she wants...so I just asked her to stop chewing my ass constantly and just fly me home instead so I could see EVERYONE. And she is!!!!! I can't wait. Then just the other night when I was talking to her about coming home and when and what not, I got a text message from Thom. Thom is my ex from WAY back...needless to say things have ALWAYS been weird with us and I just don't know. Things are weird. They always have been. We spent the whole night talking. When we were together we would always joke that we were like Jim and Pam Morrison as a couple. A very VERY tragic love story that never went the way that it should. There were times when they weren't together, rumor has it that Jim married another woman, he says that he was stoned and it seemed like a good idea at the time. But, I am rambling. Needless to say, fate ALWAYS brought them back together. And after Thom and I were done talking he sent me this message "like Jim and Pam, fate will keep us one" It just, is too perfect. I don't know what to think. He said that he wants to see me when I get home...and I want to see him to. It's been I think 2 years since we last saw each other. Like he said, both of us have grown up and it took me moving 21 hours away from him for him to realize what he had in me. I don't know how true it is, all we have done is talk on the phone. I want to see him just to know that I can then read his face and know if he is being sincere or not. He also said that jealousy is a very underestimated emotion, I asked what he meant by that and he said that he is jealous of Dave because he is always around me. WELL, not like I was the one who chose to end things back in the day, HE was!!!!! Then he tried to play it off and I was like Thom, if you are jealous of Dave and you get jealous of the thought of him with me, then that means you still care, and if you still care, then I still have a chance. Ha. He said that he couldn't agree more. Sooooo....I guess we will see. He said something about picking me up from the airport, but I don't know if my mom will fly for that or not. It kinda makes sense for him to do it because he lives an hour away form the airport and my mom is 3 I think. I don't know. All I do know is that I AM SO STINKING EXCITED TO BE GOING HOME!!!!!!!!